How to Raise a Stubborn Kid?!

Discover why toddlers become stubborn and how to raise a confident, well-balanced child using effective parenting strategies rooted in love and communication.

📙 A practical guide to raising balanced children without unnecessary battles

Stubbornness often shows up when toddlers start forming their personalities—usually around age 2 or 3. At this stage, your little one begins testing limits, asserting their will, and sometimes driving you to the edge. But whether your child becomes a confident, balanced individual or a chronically defiant one often depends on how you, as a parent, respond.

What Makes a Kid Stubborn?

Believe it or not, no child is “born stubborn.” Certain parenting patterns and reactions reinforce this behavior. Here are some common mistakes:

Saying “No” all the time. Saying “Yes” all the time. Giving in to crying or pressure. Ignoring their requests or feelings. Comparing them to others in a negative way. Failing to understand your child’s personality or how to approach it. Not spending one-on-one quality time daily (an hour of bonding matters!). Refusing to learn new parenting strategies. Silencing your child by giving in during public meltdowns. Not offering them choices. Being stubborn yourself. Not offering positive reinforcement. Not following through on your warnings. Misreading the situation behind the defiance. Criticizing your child in front of others.

So, What Should You Do Instead?

Love, Love, and More Love: Show love in various ways: morning smiles, cuddles, praise, and undivided attention—not just material gifts. Follow Through: If you warn your child about a consequence, stick to it. Consistency builds trust. Choose Your Battles: Not every situation deserves a standoff. Learn when to let go. Celebrate Small Wins: Praise and positive reinforcement help build self-confidence and reduce the need for defiant behavior.

Listen Carefully: Behind every tantrum might be a valid reason. Maybe the car seat is uncomfortable, or the nursery has a bullying child. Don’t Say Yes All the Time: Children need limits. Constant approval teaches them that they’re in control—and makes discipline harder later on. Offer Limited Choices: Always provide 2-3 options that you’re okay with. It gives them a sense of autonomy without losing structure.

Understand the Underlying Need: Stubborn behavior may be a cry for attention. Meet their emotional needs before they resort to acting out. Know When to Let Go: If the issue is not serious, avoid escalating it. Letting go sometimes prevents bigger power struggles. Repeat After Me: Love: When children feel genuinely loved and seen, they don’t need to fight for attention.

Final Thought:

Preventing chronic stubbornness starts early. With the right balance of love, limits, and listening, you can raise a child who knows how to express themselves without unnecessary defiance.

Maha Youssuf

Mamas’ Guides Chief Editor