How to Raise A Stubborn Kid?!

• Post Time - 2019-11-27 12:03:31

Stubborness and rejection of all requests starts rising when kids, mainly toddlers start mastering their personality and trying to enfore their will in nearly all situation, this is normally around the age 2:3. It is at this age that your toddler turns into a stubborn kid how know how to put pressure on you and others to get what he wants, or a kid who has a balanced behavior and know his limits.

What are the wrong things parents do with their toddlers at this stage and make their kid turn stubborn? 
In other words... what makes a Stubborn Kid?

1- Saying No all the time.

2- Saying Yess all the time.

3- Yielding to pressure and crying.

4- Refusing ot listen to his requests.

5- Comparing him or her to others in a negative way that waters down their self love and self trust.

6- Not doing the effort to know the kid's personality and mastering the way to deal with it! There's no such thing called a kid who is stubborn by nature.

7- Being busy all the time and failing to spend quality time with your kid at least for an hour a day, an hour that involves experssion of love, connection, and sharing interests such as playing with the puzzle or the blocks. You may spend a full day with your child that involves nothing but yelling, giving him or her orders, or you being busy doing house chores.

8- Refusing to learn new methods of parenting.

9- Using the easy way to silence your kid if he's showing to get what he wants to escape embarassement such as if he does this in public and this by simply giving him what he wants.

10- Not givign choices.

11- Being stubborn yourself.

12- Failing to give encouragement.

13- Failing to fulfill your warning.

14- Failing to read the situation where your chiold is acting stubborn.

15- Criticising him in public- this will get him try to anger you in many situations.

- So what should a parent do to prevent their children from becoming stubborn and thus failing to nurture in them balanced behavior.

1- Love Love Love:
Give them lots of love and express it to them in different ways, not necessarily by buying them new toys all the time or by saying I love you. Expressing love can be in many ways such as smiling to them in the morning, having the time to cuddle and praising theri development.

2- Walk the Talk:
When you give a warning, make sure you fulfill it.

3- Choose your battles:
Not all situations need tension.

4- Offer praise and positive reinforement:
Kids like it when you recognise their little achievements and praise them. It gives them sense of growth and self-love.

5- Listen carefully to their requests, sometimes they're justified:
Sometimes a kid refuses something or acts in a certain manner because it's driven by some need or pain. For example a toddler might refuse to sit in the car seat because it's got something that hurts him each time he sits in it. Or a kid refuses to go to the nursery becase of a teacher or a kid that bother him continuously. 

6- You don't have to say Yes all the time- it will enlarge their Will in a way that will swallow yours:
Some parents say yess all the time to be loved, thinking that this will make them a good parent. The opposite is true!
Saying Yes all the time makes the kid know that he's the one in control and there's no limit to stop him. This will make your job more difficult in trying to apply discipline rules in the future and in situations and ages where meaningful discipline will be a necessity.

7- Give choices- all of which you can fulfill:
If you want your choice to do what you want, always give him the will to choose between two or three options, all of which you consent. This is sort of a win- win deal. It will make him feel that he's got a will and at the same time will make him do things you do not reject.

8-Read the situation carefully:
Sometimes a kids act in a stubborn way to get attention and love. Make sure you give him both without having him resort to stubborness. 

9- Know when to drop the rope and leave the battle:
Do not let the situation develop into a bad case of stubborness, yelling and screaming. Leave the rope before your kid does all that and force you surrender to escape his bad manner. At times, when you initially feel that your kid wants something so badly and won't let go, try to avoid the situation from the beginning and don't fight- of course if it's something that's not bad or dangerous.

10- Again Love Love and Love:
Ex[pressing love as much as you can will make your kid feel loved and not in the least need to be stubborn.

Paying accure attenting to these tips will very much indeed help you avoid raising a stubborn kid, sarting as early as two- year- old age.

Stay blessed.

Maha Youssuf.
A mother and a researcher specialised in pregnancy and parenting.